Here I am, sitting, looking at the screen and wondering what to write; I don’t know exactly why I started a blog in 2021, but here we are. Francis is sitting on my desk, he is my mug, with the shape of Francis Drake’s skull, or so they told me in Santo Domingo where I bought it.

And this is the duo of whom you will read a text: a writing witch and the skull of a pirate. Congratulations! You officially have nothing better to do. However, I think it was the title that brought you here, right? And now you’d like to know why I’m saying I’m a boy and if I honestly believe that men are incapable of love?

The answer is no. And no.

Back in the day, I thought, that men couldn’t love, yes. The result of this was me breaking the hearts of good boys, legitimately believing that they had no feelings, that they were only interested in what was under my pants, and that that particular part of the body could have been mine or someone else’s. So, it was okay to be rude and end from nothing, isn’t it?

Fact is that in a society that validates mainly male characteristics, I, as a woman (who would like to be taken seriously by the quality of the intelectual content that comes out of your brain), ended up seeing myself a victim of the “inner feminicide”: the one in which you kill the Feminine within yourself to be taken seriously. Soon, I gave up and suffocated my female self to have my intelligence accepted.

I became a boy. And that’s how it all happened…

Ever since I was a child, my community whispers in my ears, relentlessly and wild.

Repeating in haste their sticky words that smell like waste.
Like the ghost of a wicked misconception, every night they haunted me to say a boy’s love is nothing more than a deception.

I disputed using Shakespeare, Byron, and Blake, and realized soon enough they’d try to make me aware of my mistake.

“Oh, yes!… except none of it is true. Young lady, pay attention. They’ll deceive you too. Don’t believe that a man’s feelings would last, neither today’s nor those from the past. They all think with the wrong head; the only thing they really want is to get you into their bed. Listen to our advice, Miss, for society is never wrong: Cheat before you get cheated, make your statement very strong. There’s no need to feed a pig with a pearl, save yourself, for, in this world, the only one who loves is the girl.”

It happens that, out of mere anxiety, I discovered myself, a near-boy, at an early age, to flee the tentacles for this vile society.

“Oh, yes I see? So this is how’s gonbe? If the boy is to be you, well that means you cannot love too.

Fundamentalism is a boomerang of steel. Be sure to throw it hard, so it comes back and makes you kneel. If you think you can think like a man, try to act like one: don’t cry. Don’t fall in love. Lie. Don’t ever feel emotions, and, above all things, deny.”

My society excluded me from the perfect life. I never mind, I had no intention of becoming a good wife.

If loving means a woman has to suffer, so may the gods allow me never to love; there’s no way I’m tasting this sewer’s supper! 

And so the boys waited for me. But don’t they prefer to be free? I was fine with my choice, the marriages I had observed were a curse, wasn’t I better off alone than to sign up for life at its worst?

“Don’t run. We strangle you so you won’t cry! … Just, please, please good girl, don’t die.

Meet the expectations we have placed on you. Don’t be sentimental, cut off affection. To be a woman, who is a man, Miss, you must avoid connection.“

And so I let it go, no feelings alright, let it flow. In a relationship you won’t get that far, for all love does is to leave you a scar.

They said to let me be, but behind my back they went to the boys to tell’em what I lack.

Hold onto yourself in prayer, and forget the girl that’s smart, the one who stole your heart. Stay away from her! Her universe cannot be controlled; there is no good girl that’s gonna be that bold. If she takes pleasure in freedom, bet she cheats you. A free girl in the mind always wants something more, she with a brassy brain ain’t nothing but a whore”.

My society does not give in, exceeds itself and drains me in sin.

It tried to force me to everything: flawless, perfect, pure and clueless. And I refused to play along for my life is mine, and it should be my song. I decided they had no right to expect, when I looked closer at the sum of its hypocrisies, they ended up losing my respect.

Society insists, assaults, and insults me. Blind in its moralism, it loses its color and doesn’t progress.

It infames me, the boy she loves; for the crushing of the soul cannot stop until it hurts:

We don’t want to help, we want to judge your way.

Fundamentalism is a boomerang, Miss, and we don’t know how to play.

Take a second to support on Patreon!
en_USEN

PRIVACY POLICY
C.A. Saltoris™ (pseudonym for Ariane de Melo) and Ariadnefaden UG is committed to safeguarding your privacy as related to the use, visitation or browsing of C.A. Saltoris‘ website. Please read the following Privacy Policy (“Privacy Policy”) to understand how your personal information will be treated as you make full use of the C.A. Saltoris Website. Details about Google CAPTCHA (used for spam protection of the contact form): https://policies.google.com/privacy

CONSENT
By using this Website, you consent to the collection and use of the information as described herein. If we decide to make changes to this Privacy Policy, we will post the changes on this page so that you will always know what information we collect, and how we use it. By using the Website subsequent to such changes, you consent to this Privacy Policy and the website’s Terms of Use.

EMBEDDED CONTENT FROM OTHER WEBSITES
Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website. These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website. We use Facebook, Twitter and Instagram Widgets as well as embedded YouTube Videos.

GATHERING AND USE OF PERSONAL INFORMATION
C.A. Saltoris does not collect personally identifying information about any individual except when knowingly provided by any such individual. If you do not want us to collect any personal information, do not submit it to us. If you choose not to provide the information we request, you can still visit most of the C.A. Saltoris Website, but you may be unable to access certain options and services or make any purchases of products or services. Your personal information may be stored and used by C.A. Saltoris to provide products or services to you and to contact you with respect to transactions conducted through the Website. We will not sell, rent or disclose your personal information to our business partners, suppliers, vendors or other third parties without notifying you of our intent to share the information and giving you an opportunity to prevent your information from being shared. We may, however, disclose information about our users when we believe, in good faith, that the disclosure is required by law.

GATHERING BROWSER LEVEL INFORMATION
Our Web server automatically collects information about a site user’s IP address, browser type and referrer (collectively, “Browser Level Information”) by reading this information from the user’s browser (information provided by every user’s browser). We store and use Browser Level Information, in the aggregate only, to diagnose problems with our Web server, to improve and track the success of the Website and to provide content of interest to you. Browser Level Information is automatically logged by most Websites. We may share Browser Level Information with advertisers or other third parties, including our business partners, suppliers, and vendors, on an aggregated basis without revealing any personally identifiable information and without the consent of any user.

USE OF COOKIES
C.A. Saltoris may use cookies solely to track user traffic patterns throughout C.A. Saltoris' Website. Cookies are small electronic files that a website may transfer to the user’s computer and are used for record-keeping purposes. A cookie file can contain information, such as a user identification code, that the site uses to track the pages you have visited. Most Web site browsers automatically accept cookies; however, if you would prefer not to receive cookies, your browser can be set to warn you before accepting cookies and refuse the cookie when your browser alerts you to its presence. You can also refuse all cookies by turning them off in your browser. If you choose to have your browser refuse cookies, it is possible that some areas of our Website will not function properly when you view them.

THIRD PARTY SITES
The C.A. Saltoris Website may contain links to other sites. C.A. Saltoris does not share your personal information with those Websites and is not responsible for their privacy practices. To the extent hyperlinks are utilized to access external or third party Websites, you should be aware that these external or third party Websites are not controlled by C.A. Saltoris and, therefore, are not subject to this Privacy Policy. We encourage you to learn about the privacy policies of those companies. We do not necessarily endorse, and are not responsible for, any third party contact that may be accessed through the C.A. Saltoris Website.

INFORMATION SECURITY
C.A. Saltoris is concerned with the security of the personally identifiable information we have collected and had in place reasonable measures to prevent unauthorized access to that information. These measures include policies, procedures, and technical elements relating to data access controls. In addition, C.A. Saltoris uses standard security protocols and mechanisms to exchange the transmission of sensitive personal information. Although C.A. Saltoris has endeavored to create a secure and reliable Website, the confidentiality of any communication or material transmitted via the Internet cannot be guaranteed. Accordingly, you should consider carefully if you want to submit sensitive information via the Internet.

HOW TO CONTACT US
If you have any questions about our Terms of Use or Privacy Statement, please contact us via the contact form.
This Privacy Policy may change from time to time, so please check back periodically.